1.17 Tammy and the T-Rex

Tammy and Michael are a young couple in love, until Tammy’s edgelord ex-boyfriend feeds Michael to a lion. Paul Walker returns to the dumpster, trading in his Crunch bars for a mechanical dino body. Strap on your cup and grab somebody’s junk, we’re about to bite into Tammy and the T-Rex.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.16 Frankenstein’s Army

At the end of WWII, a troop of Russian soldiers on a secret mission stumble upon the Langford Lab where Karel Roden is making Silent Hill rejects. Finish assembling your Zombot because we’re about to dissect Frankenstein’s Army.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.15 The Runestone

After stumbling upon an ancient Norse artifact in Pennsylvania, noted art collector and womanizer, Martin Almquist, brings his find to the big city—and all hell breaks loose. With the help of Thor, a prophetic cry baby, and a foul-mouthed detective, Martin’s ex-wife and lover have to bring down the Nordic God of Bad Creature Design. Dig out your Grandpa’s mythological axe, and pack plenty of strawberry PEZ because the boys are Big Apple bound to try and decipher The Runestone.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.14 Big Bully

Tom Arnold rekindles his twisted agenda of sadistic pleasure when Rick Moranis, his childhood punching bag, returns to town to teach a shitty writing class. Masquerading as a comedy, we can clearly see the horror inherent in this off-beat abomination. Meet us at the seesaw at seven o’clock, and bring your piss-filled thermos, because we are going a few rounds with Big Bully.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.13 House of the Dead

A group of twenty-somethings travel to Isla Nublar for the rave of the century, but instead find it infested with zombies and light beer. Based on the classic arcade rail shooter and directed by Uwe Boll, even Clint Howard can’t save this movie. Pour one out for Das Boot, because this is House of the Dead.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.12 The Hugga Bunch

Little Bridget calls upon the tiny, plush demons that live in her mirror to help save her grandmother because no one loves her anymore. Spewed forth from the black pit of movies from which marketing schemes for toys are spawned, The Hugga Bunch are here for your sweet bone marrow. Pick some young berries and get your mirror nice and squishy because we are about to hug some puppets.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.11 Dungeons & Dragons

Justin Whalin and Marlon Wayans LARP their way into a mess of bad CGI and magic, while Jeremy Irons gorges himself on every piece of scenery he can get his hands on. Based loosely on the classic tabletop RPG, this foray onto the set of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys reminds us that movies based on games are never a good idea. Grab your d20 and your elven boob armor because we are about to roll for initiative against Dungeons & Dragons.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.10 Frankenstein Unbound

Future scientist, John Hurt, stumbles and fumbles through time in his quest to court Mary Shelly. With the help of Victor Frankenstein and the Delorean, he just might pull it off. This is what Frankenstein fan fiction looks like: Frankenstein Unbound.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.9 Monster in the Closet

When a slew of closet murders go unsolved, up-and-coming reporter and Christopher Reeves impersonator, Richard Clark, travels to a small California town for answers. With the help of Paul Walker, Torgo, and that woman from Days of Our Lives, Clark battles a giant McNugget to save the world. Marking the acting debuts of Paul Walker and Fergie, this film adds nothing to their résumés. Grab your xylophone and a hearty supply of Crunch bars because we’re going on a hunt for Monster in the Closet.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.8 Sukiyaki Western Django

Quentin Tarantino gives us a Japanese history lesson about two rival gangs fighting over Captain Crunch’s lost treasure, in the heart of Nevada during the Gold Rush. J-horror icon Takashi Miike blends the flavors of Akira Kurosawa and Sergio Corbucci…or something. Gather ’round the campfire and grab your chopsticks, because we are about to chew on some Sukiyaki Western Django.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.7 Death Note

The American adaption nobody asked for! Nat Wolff whines a lot and kills people with a magic notebook he gets from the Green Goblin, while Lakeith Stanfield squats on everyone’s furniture and eats candy. Overstuffed, underdeveloped, and unwelcome, summon your Shinigami and for the love of God put our names in the Death Note.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.6 Venom

Poor Ray just wants to do the right thing and of course, no good deed goes unpunished. When a suitcase full of voodoo enhanced snakes turns him into Jason Voorhees, he disposes of the most vapid cast of characters this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see any of it. Make sure you grab your grandma’s Baka and a cold beer because we are about to milk some Venom.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.5 Equilibrium

Hide your art, hide your books, hide your wife because the Grammaton Clerics are coming to town! In an Orwellian, post-WWIII future, Christian Bale saves puppies from a heartless government bent on emotionally numbing the masses. Taye Diggs is also there for some reason. Grab your Prozium and your pistol, we’re headed to Libria with Equilibrium.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.4 Yesterday’s Target

Time traveling mutants, domestic abuse, and plot holes, oh my! Daniel Baldwin serves us up his best Sarah Connor impression while trying to stop Malcolm McDowell and LeVar Burton from wearing bad hats. With a future so bright that you gotta wear shades, the boys quantum leap into the shit show of Yesterday’s Target.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne