3.22 Evilspeak

By the three wizards on high, by the Van Daam thirst for lust, by the most feared and notorious name, John Hurt—WE HAVE RETURNED! After his parents perish in a car accident, Clint Howard is sent away to a Catholic military school where he is bullied by Bob Pinciotti. Forced to clean the church’s basement, occupied by Sarge “The Animal” Steele, Clint uncovers a hidden room which contains the instructions for a black mass to resurrect the damned soul of Richard Moll. With the powers of Hell and MS-DOS, Clint conjures the powers of darkness to consume his body and smite his enemies. We also inject Clint Howard into Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, and try to fix ‘Boo! A Madea Halloween’ with actual monsters. Boot up Windows ’95, secure that consecrated host, and give your corporeal form over to ESTEBAN™, because we are about to Google Translate some 13th century Latin into Evilspeak!

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3.21 Body Melt

The grill is cooling off and we’re breaking out the peach cobbler and watermelon! As our GARB-BQ winds down, we’re headed back to Australia for some goopy ozploitation goodness! Let your body learn, let your body build, let your Body Melt? When “pharmaceutical” company Vimuville™ begins using the residents of Pebbles Court as lab rats for a new supplement, things start to get really gross. As the hapless civilians each take the dangerous drug through various means, their bodies begin to destroy themselves from the inside out. We’ve got blood, boogers and more totally unwanted bodily fluids in this stomach turning classic. We also muse about Gary Busey’s favorite food, who really is the best movie villain of all time, if Vimuville is indeed a shell company for Umbrella—SPOILERS: IT IS, and our very own Dobby “The MDU Doormat” gets #swole. Joining in on the madness today is special guest, Jenna Fryer! Squeeze into your jogging suit, shoot down that fizzy vitamin drink, and crank up the Deep Purple, because we’re about to work it out with Body Melt!

You can support Jenna and her work over at the KillerWolf Films patreon!

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3.18 Razorback

Grab yourself a cold one and throw some pork chops on the grill, Movie Dumpster’s GARB-BQ has officially begun! Our first delicious morsel of the month comes straight to you from the Australian Outback. After a massive wild hog charges through his house like a fireball and eats his grandson, Jake Cullen makes it his life’s work to find the aberration and destroy it. Two years later, American wildlife reporter Beth Winters arrives to investigate Toecutter’s gang. Soon the beast resurfaces and only “Jesus Wept” Jake, his daughter “Oracle” Sarah, and Beth’s husband “I’ll Grieve When I’m Dead” Carl, can stand against not only The Acolytes, but the hulking man-eater too! We also pick our teams for a potential tornado tag match versus John Hurt, Granny Van Daam, and Daniel Baldwin. Plus, Gunnar the White gives us a breakdown of his former life in the Sawyer family, Steve Irwin and Simon Bossell stop by to say g’day, and Haggerty the Blue’s brother from down under makes their debut! So wake up from Richard Stanley’s nightmare, climb out of a mineshaft, and drive your War Rig on over to Gas Town, because we’re hunting down Razorback!

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3.17 Orca (1977)

A happy couple have their world destroyed when a greedy drunk attacks their home and leaves a mother dead, along with her unborn fetus. The father survives and makes the misery and death of the one who ruined his life the only thing that can satiate his vengeance…all told from the viewpoint of a killer whale! Captain Nolan played by Richard ‘Dumbledore Prime’ Harris tries everything in his power to avoid coming to blows with his aquatic adversary, even as the whale destroys the town around him. Bo Derek and Will Sampson also come along for the ride because our journey wouldn’t be complete without a damsel in distress and a Native American stereotype! C.B. Smith from ‘Taking a Page’ joins us to talk about the differences between the novel and the film and OH BOY, are they plentiful! Break out the circus peanuts, headbutt a Jaws™ into oblivion, and lead your nemesis toward their icy grave, because we’re breaching into Orca!

Check out C.B. Smith’s channel, ‘Taking a Page’.

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M04 Ami Dolenz

Watch out for those skittering blood-suckers, especially that massive Panic-sized one, because we’re bringing you another minisode! We interviewed the wonderful Ami Dolenz as a companion piece to our latest episode, 3.16 Ticks! We asked Ami about her time working on the flick, along with some of her other roles including Stepmonster, Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway, Pumpkinhead II: Bloodwings, and more. So sit back, put your feet up, hit play, and please ignore the infested Clint Howard in the corner.

Make sure to check out Ami’s artwork as well as her children’s book at Amibluebellart.com!

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3.16 Ticks

In the woods across from the old campgrounds where Gunnar Hansen battled giant mosquitoes, Clint Howard is using some of Farmer Spivey’s secret ingredient to help his latest batch of super weed grow faster. A barrel of toxic waste spills carelessly through the floor onto some arachnid eggs, causing them to multiply in size and hatch into giant, blood-sucking parasites. But don’t panic—we’ve got Alfonso Ribeiro and Seth Green here to squash them! With an angry reincarnated Hesse from Demonic Toys out for revenge against Charnetski the Brown, some mutated eight-legged freaks seem like the least of their problems! Then there’s those strange science experiments Wayne Szalinski was talking into a tape recorder about—something about a Necronomicon he found in the basement of the cabin or whatever? Uwe Boll also makes his sad return to the show as we take some listener questions. So climb out of that mine shaft, light up a fat J-bird, and summon Simon Bossell’s flaming broom, because we are about to be infested with Ticks!

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3.15 Deathdream (1974)

THE NIGHT HE CAME HOME! Happy 4th of July, Dumpster Dwellers! Following our Black Christmas episode last season, we bring you the Bob Clark horror classic that inspired it. After receiving word that her son Andy has been killed in Vietnam, a grieving mother stresses the universe into instantaneously resurrecting him. Be careful of what you wish for though, because that boy ain’t right! Cold, emotionless, and sadistic, the Andy his family and friends knew didn’t make it out of the war. We dive headfirst into uncomfortable topics like family drama, the horrors of war and the people who come back from it, and how exactly a father could screw up so badly. Uh…Happy 4th! Is Andy a Revenant? Is Quan Chi behind this? Will Dr. Loomis finally be of any use? Find out by pulling up a rocking chair and join us in the dead of night for Deathdream!

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M03 Greydon Clark

We hope you all were able to get away from that pesky mutant cat and are safely aboard your lifeboats (hopefully with that duffel bag full of hundreds). That is, if you’ve already survived our latest episode, 3.14 Uninvited! There’s no land in sight, so It looks like you won’t be going anywhere for awhile. Why don’t you kick back and fill your ears with the companion piece to our ‘Uninvited’ episode, where we chat with writer, director, producer, and legend of low-budget filmmaking, Greydon Clark!

You can purchase Greydon’s book, ‘On The Cheap: My Life in Low-Budget Filmmaking’, as well as his entire catalog of films from his website, GreydonClark.com.

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3.14 Uninvited (1987)

What do you do when you find a mutant cat living inside of a regular cat? First, you should hope the mutant cat isn’t hiding an even smaller mutant cat inside of it. Next, you probably SHOULDN’T isolate yourselves on a yacht with a sociopathic Wall Street criminal. Fortunately for us, that’s exactly what happens in this movie! Five partygoers on spring break find themselves stranded in the middle of the ocean with rich scumbags, Alex Cord and George Kennedy, as a poisonous and morally ambiguous cat wreaks havoc on them while cackling from the shadows. Will the hapless humans survive or will the cat dish out it’s own kind of Final Justice™? Put in your false teeth, break out the champagne & corn flakes, and shout out a hearty ‘FOOP’, because we’re chartering the ‘Slam Dunk’ to climb aboard Greydon Clark’s Uninvited!

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3.13 The Stepfather (1987)

Make room for daddy⁠—it’s a Stepfather’s Day special! Terry O’Quinn is a mild-mannered all-American dad with traditional ‘Leave It to Beaver’ values and a penchant for murder. A master of disguise, Terry dices up the families he ingrains himself in for minor infractions and disappears without a trace, only to repeat the cycle with another vulnerable family. Now married to widowed Shelley Hack, things start falling apart when his troubled stepdaughter, Jill Schoelen, begins researching his past because nobody that realized Mr. Ed wasn’t actually a horse that could talk until high school is sane. With a rogue therapist and the vigilante known as ‘The Discipliner’ hot on his trail, it’s only a matter of time before the Stepfather™ is backed into a corner asking, “Who am I here?” Slip on your flannel jacket, throw your suitcase full of evidence into the ocean, and whistle a little Camptown Races, because we’re moving in with The Stepfather!

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M2.5 Michael Ray Bower

The second half of our monster interview with Michael Ray Bower! Old Spivey threw a few extra heapins of his secret ingredient into this batch, so make sure you listen to our episode, 3.12 The Willies, and Part 1 of the interview⁠ because it’ll make Part 2 extra good!

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M02 Michael Ray Bower

We hope everyone wasn’t too spooked by our latest episode, The Willies, because we’re serving up a 2-part companion piece! We had the pleasure of chatting with “Fly Boy” himself, Michael Ray Bower, about his entire career as well as taking a peek behind the tent flap of his starring segment. So, grab a 10-piece bucket of Tennessee Fricassee Chicken™ and pull up a sleeping bag because we’re about to have a campfire convo so big we had to split it in two!

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3.12 The Willies

Gather ’round the campfire with Mikey from The Goonies™, as he weaves a tapestry of spooky tales! We roll into our first anthology film and bump into wayward Twin Peaks residents, adolescent bullies, a suspiciously friendly janitor, and a boy with a gut-churning obsession with flies. Connor gets emotional about rat violence, we talk about the infamous & unforgettable ‘ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter’ ride at Disney, and we all wonder what exactly our folks were recording on extended-play tapes back in the ’90s. Pluck a few of Farmer Spivey’s mutated veggies, set that poodle in the microwave for three minutes, and try not to pee your pants, because we’re about to get a serious case of The Willies!

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3.10 The Suckling

At one of Granny Van Daam’s brothels, a young woman gets a messy coat hanger abortion and the fetus is unceremoniously flushed down the toilet. Down the drain, a canister of TGRI™ mutagen ooze drips onto the discarded sewage baby and transforms it into an eight-foot tall hairless killing machine. Using unexplained embryonic powers, it traps and hunts the working women and their clients inside, before taking a detour in the MDU to have a little fun! Grab your briefcase full of dildos, slap on your propeller hat, and watch out for that umbilical cord, because Big Momma and the gang are about to terminate The Suckling!

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3.8 John Carpenter’s Vampires

Daniel Baldwin makes his triumphant return to the MDU and he’s brought James Woods with him! Barely an adaptation of the novel ‘Vampire$’, John Carpenter’s contemporary take on a western vampire flick is filled to the brim with testosterone and buckets of blood. It might even give you a little mahogany. So grab your crossbow, strap Laura Palmer to a bed, and GET IN THE CAR, because we’re jamming a stake deep into John Carpenter’s Vampires!

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3.7 The Being

Welcome to Pottsville, Idaho! A place where unsafe nuclear waste disposal is okay, but smut must be swept away! A ravenous booger monster rises from a chemical cesspool to terrorize the town on Easter weekend, and only death defying sheriff, Rexx Coltrane, can stop it. He just might need a little help from Martin Landau and a Gnome named Gnorm. Pluck yourself some Idaho potatoes, clean the slime out of your trunk, and watch out for Cacodemons because we’re going radioactive with The Being!

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3.5 The Boneyard

Retired homicide psychic, Alley Oates, is pulled away from her job as the MDU Wizards’ landlord to help solve a case surrounding a trio of dead children. Unfortunately, the little rugrats are hosts to ancient, man-eating, Chinese demons called Kyoshi™…and they’re hungry! Now, trapped in a mortuary with no escape, a group of strictly average people must come together to survive not only ravenous ghouls, but also Phyllis ‘Poopinplatz’ Diller and her beloved pooch, Floofsums. So, climb out of your trash heap, grab that Starship Troopers rifle out of the evidence room, and let Lionel know his mother is back, because we’re digging deep into The Boneyard!

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M01 Simon Bossell

Happy Leap Day, dumpster dwellers! We’re taking this extra day to bring you guys our very first minisode 💚📼 – the companion piece to our episode, 3.3 Aberration (1997). We had the pleasure of chatting with leading lizard killer, Simon Bossell, about working on ‘Aberration’, the acting life, and our favorite Ozploitation films. So, gather ’round the campfire and grab a bag of potato flakes as we slip behind the scenes of Aberration!

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3.3 Aberration (1997)

Pamela Gidley flees her criminal Russian stereotype of an ex to her family’s dilapidated cabin in the freezing northwest. Unfortunately, man-eating geckos have been using her house as a breeding ground and, as Worf repeatedly reminds us, they’ve adapted. Wisecracking field researcher Simon Bossell and Dobby the house-elf join Pamela in a battle to see how many explosions they can walk away from without looking. Put on some protective eyewear, fill up your Super Soaker™ with expired poison, and keep your eyes peeled for skittering reptiles, because we’re about to get knocked to the bottom of the food chain by Aberration!

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3.2 Valentine

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cupid has a knife, and he’s coming for you! After Katherine Heigl gets Drew Barrymore’d, a group of affluent women receive elaborate Riddler notes signed by JM, a mysterious stalker out for their blood. Could it have anything to do with young Jeremy Melton that they humiliated at their junior high Valentine’s dance? Nah, it’s probably just Pumpkinhead. David Boreanaz stops by to do his best Mrs. Doubtfire impression and Denise Richards returns to the MDU for a Valentine’s Day event. Light some candles to set the mood, open up that box of chocolate covered maggots, and throw on your favorite Static-X slow jam, because we want you to be our Valentine!

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3.1 Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings

WELCOME BACK! Season 3 is here and we’ve all been infected by sequel-itis right out of the gate. Symptoms range from odd Clinton family cameos to Hellraiser actors suddenly appearing. If you or a loved one is infected with Blood Wings™, please call a doctor immediately. Otherwise, join Sean, Joe, Connor, and special guest Tony from Hack The Movies, in the infirmary for the season premiere of Movie Dumpster! Build your model cemetery, boot up your weird tie-in PC game, and call us a doctor because we’re about to be dropped down a mine shaft by Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings!

Joining us is special guest, Tony Piluso from Hack The Movies and Cinemassacre!

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2.35 Season Two Finale

Dread it, run from it…Season 3 arrives just the same. In time you will know what it’s like to watch Pluto Nash…or Elves. To feel so desperately like you want to pull a bag over your own head like in Black Christmas. The hardest choices require the strongest wills, but we made it through 2019 and nobody got turned into dust or killed by an anti-matter wave. Do we feel good about our choices? Did we change our minds? Did Granny Van Daam run away with 2019 or will she play second fiddle to a growing roster of MDU wizards? So grab literally anything from this year’s trash heap and get cozy on this brand spankin’ New Year’s day as we reflect on Movie Dumpster season 2! Cue flashback sequence.

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2.34 Black Christmas (1974)

The 1974 Bob Clark classic! A sorority house is being stalked by a killer lurking in the attic on Christmas. The glistening star that brightly shines atop our Christmas tree, the birth of our dear genre as we know it, and the three wise(ass) men to walk you through it. And really, WHAT YOUR MOTHER AND I MUST KNOW IS…why do we keep remaking great movies? Grab that bottle of booze hidden in your toilet, cancel your other phone line, and make sure you lock your attic windows because we are about to have ourselves a bloody little Black Christmas.

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2.33 Elves

DE ELFEN HOUTEN LEVEN! God creates elves, Nazis destroy God, Nazis create elves. Kirstin is just your average teenage thirty-something but her lineage harbors a dark secret. It is said that on Christmas Eve, the master race will be brought forth by the consummation of a genetically-engineered Elf and a perfectly inbred human host—that is, unless ex-detective Dan Haggerty has anything to say about it! Grab a carton of Marlboro’s, sketch some Art Deco boobs, and steal your dadpa’s grimoire because we are about conjure up some Elves.

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2.31 Blood Rage

Happy Thanksgiving! Join us as we dig through a little Thanksgarbage and find ourselves something that’s definitely not cranberry sauce! When young Terry’s mommy issues turn fatal one night at the drive-in, he ends up framing his twin brother Todd for murder. After spending a decade in an asylum, Todd escapes to head home on Thanksgiving. With the news of his brother’s escape, and his mother’s brand new engagement, Terry’s dormant rage is revived. Throw some pumpkin pie against the wall, spark up that j-bird, and grab your machete because we are about to slice into some Blood Rage.

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2.27 Demonic Toys

Detective Judith Gray chases two criminals into a run down warehouse, only to find it haunted by a childlike demon who controls an army of dolls. After discovering the warehouse is locked up until dawn, it’s up to Judith, Charnetski, and a rag tag group to battle a potty-mouthed baby doll, a fanged jack-in-the-box, and a sinister teddy bear! It’s Full Moon madness in this gory toy story, so grab a demon fetus and a bucket of Chunky Chicken, because we’re winding up our Demonic Toys!

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2.26 Mr. Boogedy

Trick or Trash is back with a Disney Channel Sunday Movie classic! Gag gift salesman Richard Masur moves his family to the aptly named Lucifer Falls and into the haunted house on 29 Neibolt Street. Not only must they contend with a stunningly ineffective ghost known as Mr. Boogedy, but also a Babadook-esque Gomez Addams squatting in their home. Power up your vacuum and hand buzzers, because we’re getting gooey with Mr. Boogedy!

Joining us is special guest, Matt Curione! Host of the Monsters Never Die! Podcast.

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2.24 The 13th Warrior

Arabian poet, Antonio Banderas, fools around with the caliph’s wife and gets promoted to lord of the dessert. During his trek, he runs afoul of a Viking camp where Granny Van Daam dubs him the 13th warrior of a quest that will lead to certain death. Now he must band together with a rough-and-tumble group of lovable bearded bad-asses to defend a village from a (seemingly) unstoppable supernatural force. Brush up on your old Norse, ask the smithy to fashion you a scimitar, and grab a piece of your fallen comrade to munch on because we’re about to crack open the lost ancient text of The 13th Warrior.

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2.22 Deep Rising

When a sadistic billionaire decides to sink his dream boat for a hefty insurance payout, a giant sea monster decides to crash the party for a bite to eat. Treat “If the cash is there, we do not care” Williams must lead a rag tag group of mercs including Kano, Sagat, and Korath, guns blazing through the infested ship of death! Will they make it out alive? What happened to Rodney Dangerfield after he stuck the Triple Lindy? Can the maid from the Sedgewick Hotel ever truly get a break? Get ready to say hello to the Chinese M1-L1 Triple Pulse Assault Rifle, brush up on your marine biology, and don’t lose those engine parts because we’re going full scream ahead into Deep Rising!

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2.19 Ghost Shark

Crenshaw from Boggy Creek II pours hot sauce on a great white shark and blows it up with a grenade, but its corpse lands in a magic cave that resurrects its spirit. Hungry for revenge, the iridescent blue fruit snack travels across all manner of water to chomp down on anyone it can wrap it’s jaws around. Only Gunnar Hansen, Granny Van Daam, and a group of teenagers without any redeeming qualities can stop it! Drink from a haunted water cooler, bite into some sexual chocolate, and please, DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE POOL PARTY, because we’re Slip N Sliding into Ghost Shark!

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2.17 Child’s Play 3

Eight years after being set on fire, shot multiple times, losing a hand, bathed in molten plastic, and pneumatically exploding, Chucky is somehow reanimated by the Play Pals company again. Still looking to transfer his soul into a human body, he tracks Andy Barclay to a deranged military school and finds fresh meat in the delusional Tyler. Will Charles Lee Ray finally finish that incantation? Find out as we take a page from the book, get balded out by Uncle Frank, and spit-shine our combat boots! In honor of a remake no one asked for, we’re unboxing Child’s Play 3.

Joining us is special guest, C.B. Smith! Check out his channel, where he covers books and their adaptations (or the opposite in this case).

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2.15 Drainiac!

Christmas Eve a few years ago, a couple of bums wandered into the house from Mosquito and were sucked dry by a green slime emanating from a drain pipe. A water elemental haunts these lands now and only the resurrected Gunnar Hansen the White can save the unlucky group of teenage “friends” trapped by the demon. Grab your grimoire, light some candles placed at the tips of a pentagram, and climb into a haunted bathtub, because we’re spiraling down into Drainiac!

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2.11 Critters 2: The Main Course

Two years after ravenous space furbies invaded Grover’s Bend, Scott Grimes returns home to visit his Nana “Granny Van Daam” for Easter. A clutch of over-ripened avocados mistaken for Easter eggs hatch, flooding the town with the devious man-eating crites. Aided by alien bounty hunters Ug, Lee, and Charlie, a spittoon-spitting sheriff, Lars from Heavyweights, Lin Shaye, and Eddie Deezen, the town just might stand a chance against a literal giant ball of killer tribbles. Order a polar burger, some buffalo chips, and wash it all down with a moo shake because we’re about to take a bite out of Critters 2: The Main Course. KILL CRITES!

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2.6 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Trying to cash in on the Blair Witch Project hype, Jeffrey “Jeff” Donovan takes a group of played out stereotypes into the woods on a tour of locations from the film. Except, they are actual historical locations or something and the witch is real…but she might not be? Throw on a pot of coffee, pull up a chair, and get your eyeballs right up to that monitor, because we’re staring blankly into Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.

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2.4 Bleeders

In 1652, the King of Holland told the noble families to stop with the incest, so the Van Daams packed up and moved to America. Now, Robert Smith’s search for a cure to his rare blood disease leads him to the Van Daam family home, guarded by a granny with a shotgun. “A sauced Rutger Hauer battles mutants that feed on embalming fluid in an underground cavern,” sounds a lot better on paper. Secure your birthright, eat that pickled baby, and stay clear of open graves because we are about to get Van Daminated by Hemoglobin aka Bleeders!

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1.35 Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg loses a game of curling against a dime store Christopher Lloyd and is forced to give presents to children every year on December 25th. After the bet wager is decidedly paid up, Goldberg returns to his historic holiday havoc and flips it into high gear—starting with Fran Drescher. Kicking off our month of “Trashing Through the Snow” with a real shining star upon the highest bough, grab some deli meats, a curling stone, and your grandfather’s book of Norse mythology because your chimney’s about to be blown out by Santa’s Slay. WHO’S NEXT?!

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1.34 Home Sweet Home

After a bunch of people who aren’t related gather at a remote ranch for Thanksgiving day, they kind of meander around until Jake “The Body” Steinfeld arrives to murder them in a PCP fueled rage. Slip a syringe under your tongue, hide the peas, and get your KISS paint on because we are about to get body slammed by Home Sweet Home.

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1.31 Night of the Demons

After Angela invites a bunch of odd balls to an old funeral parlor for a Halloween party, things get out of hand when they perform a seance. They accidentally release an ancient evil that turns the party goers into hideous demons that are down to fuck. This is the quintessential horror movie for the Halloween season, Dumpster Dwellers! Grab your lipstick, some sour balls, and don’t forget extra batteries for the boom box because we are about to be possessed by Night of the Demons.

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1.28 Idle Hands

When a certain evil force looks to possess the laziest fuck up it can find, stoner and general layabout Devon Sawa becomes the perfect host. Why does it only control his right hand? We don’t know! After killing his parents (we hardly knew you Fred Willard) and best friends, Seth Green and Foggy Nelson, Devon must stop his evil hand before it kills Jessica Alba, the only woman interested in his stank ass. So grab yourself some Burger Jungle, rip your Mighty Joe Bong, and cut off just one of your hands, because this is Idle Hands.

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1.27 An American Werewolf in Paris

We’re kicking this Trick or Trash month off with a flaming jack-o’-lantern full of werewolf shit! Tom Everett Scott and his fuck boy friends head to Paris to bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower. Instead they get drunk and save a suicidal Julie Delpy from ridding the world of her violent lunar activities. Unfortunately for us, this movie happens as the result. As a direct sequel to one of the greatest werewolf movies of all time, this is the poster child for studio meddling and running a project straight into the ground. Tie off your bungee cord, rip open a pack of condom gum, and shoot yourself up with some moon juice because we are about to be mauled by An American Werewolf in Paris.

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1.24 Devon’s Ghost: Legend of the Bloody Boy

After two idiots reopen the old Angel Grove High School across the street from the site of a legend-laden local homicide, the black and yellow Power Rangers need to face their greatest adversary yet—a dick in a baseball jersey. Co-written by Karan Ashley and co-directed by Johnny Yong Bosch, we all can’t help but have one big question: what the hell were they thinking? Put on your birthday present from grandma, grab that Power Morpher, and make sure you don’t get intimate with anyone because we are stepping up to bat with Devon’s Ghost: The Legend of the Bloody Boy. IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!

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1.23 Dark Forest

When Emily joins her friends on a weekend getaway, her psychotic and controlling husband, Peter, takes a trip to the Black Lodge and decides that murdering them all is the only option. Or something. Send some dick pics, grab that plastic knife your dad used to kill your mom, and follow us as we make a trek through the extremely well lit Dark Forest, eh?

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1.21 Mosquito

After a War of The Worlds reject crash lands on earth, its body becomes a quick lunch for a bunch of mosquitoes. And wouldn’t ya know it? The alien blood makes them grow into huge, radioactive, killing machines. It’s up to Leatherface, Patrick Swayze, a biologist (?), Isaac Hayes, and a park ranger to stop the winged menaces from infesting the world. Slather on some deet and lube up that proboscis because we are about to suck on Mosquito.

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Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.20 Uncle Sam

Sam Harper is a 100% full blooded, grade-A bag of shit. After getting shot down during some “friendly fire” over Kuwait, the military ships his body back to his life-long abusees. His nephew can’t understand why everyone is so down on his uncle after all of his heroic endeavors. That is, until people start turning up dead. Isaac Hayes literally brings out the big guns for this patriotic piece of cinematic trash. Grab some BBQ and light up those fireworks because we are giving salute to good ol’ Uncle Sam.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.19 Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A creepy, semi-magical being known only as the Metal Fetishist seeks revenge on a salaryman who ran him over while getting a blow job. An experimental art film from Shin’ya Tsukamoto, in the vein of Lynch and Cronenberg, comes a monochrome acid trip into stop-motion fever dreams and bloody body horror. Grab your oil can and mind the dick drill because we’re about to be assimilated by Tetsuo: The Iron Man.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.16 Frankenstein’s Army

At the end of WWII, a troop of Russian soldiers on a secret mission stumble upon the Langford Lab where Karel Roden is making Silent Hill rejects. Finish assembling your Zombot because we’re about to dissect Frankenstein’s Army.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.15 The Runestone

After stumbling upon an ancient Norse artifact in Pennsylvania, noted art collector and womanizer, Martin Almquist, brings his find to the big city—and all hell breaks loose. With the help of Thor, a prophetic cry baby, and a foul-mouthed detective, Martin’s ex-wife and lover have to bring down the Nordic God of Bad Creature Design. Dig out your Grandpa’s mythological axe, and pack plenty of strawberry PEZ because the boys are Big Apple bound to try and decipher The Runestone.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.13 House of the Dead

A group of twenty-somethings travel to Isla Nublar for the rave of the century, but instead find it infested with zombies and light beer. Based on the classic arcade rail shooter and directed by Uwe Boll, even Clint Howard can’t save this movie. Pour one out for Das Boot, because this is House of the Dead.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.10 Frankenstein Unbound

Future scientist, John Hurt, stumbles and fumbles through time in his quest to court Mary Shelly. With the help of Victor Frankenstein and the Delorean, he just might pull it off. This is what Frankenstein fan fiction looks like: Frankenstein Unbound.

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Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.9 Monster in the Closet

When a slew of closet murders go unsolved, up-and-coming reporter and Christopher Reeves impersonator, Richard Clark, travels to a small California town for answers. With the help of Paul Walker, Torgo, and that woman from Days of Our Lives, Clark battles a giant McNugget to save the world. Marking the acting debuts of Paul Walker and Fergie, this film adds nothing to their résumés. Grab your xylophone and a hearty supply of Crunch bars because we’re going on a hunt for Monster in the Closet.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.6 Venom

Poor Ray just wants to do the right thing and of course, no good deed goes unpunished. When a suitcase full of voodoo enhanced snakes turns him into Jason Voorhees, he disposes of the most vapid cast of characters this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see any of it. Make sure you grab your grandma’s Baka and a cold beer because we are about to milk some Venom.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne