3.30 March of the Wooden Soldiers

Happy Thanksgiving, Dumpster Dwellers! We’re taking a trip into Mother Goose’s book of nursery rhymes to the magical world of Toyland! A wonderful place where everyone gets along…except for the rich old villain that everyone just puts up with, Silas Barnaby. When Mother Peep gets behind on her mortgage payments, the only way to avoid being kicked out of her shoe is to come up with the money or have her daughter Little Bo Peep take Barnaby’s hand in marriage. Thankfully, she has bumbling toymakers Laurel and Hardy on the job! This undisputed classic turns 85 this year, so celebrate it with us! We’re also digging deep into listener questions, our history with the film, and talking about what we are thankful for on this very special Thanksgarbage Day. So grab your peewees, find your lost sheep, and don’t let the Bogeymen in because this is Babes in Toyland aka March of the Wooden Soldiers!

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3.29 Of Unknown Origin

Peter Weller is a rich Wall Street businessman with a loving family, a beautiful home, and a lucrative job. All of that is uprooted when GVD’s aggressive pet rat begins a blood feud with Weller, leaving his brownstone in ruins and his mind shattered. Plagued by sleep deprivation and a drinking problem, Weller descends into madness and builds a Devon’s Ghost bat to do mortal combat with the groundhog-sized rodent. Let’s just say he isn’t using your grandma’s mouse traps! We also talk about some of our favorite albums and TV shows growing up, plus we’ve got special guest Tony from Hack the Movies returning to the show! Lace up those cleats, crack open the J&B, and flood your basement, ’cause we’re about to get wet and wild with a creature Of Unknown Origin!

Check out Tony’s Youtube channel, Hack the Movies, and podcast Castzilla VS The Pod Monster!

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3.28 Ernest Scared Stupid

Our 100th episode and Trick or Trash finale Spooktacular! Ernest P. Worrell just has to pick the one tree in the Dark Forest™ that’s imprisoning an evil troll to build a hangout for the neighborhood kids. Ignoring the advice of the town witch, Eartha Kitt, Ernest unintentionally awakens the dormant troll, Trantor, releasing it to once again wreak Halloween Havoc® on the sleepy Missouri suburb of Briarville. Trantor starts turning the town’s pre-teens into tiny wooden dolls to power his Boo Berry infested Tree of Might that will breed him an army of trolls. Not even our main kid characters Kenny, Elizabeth, or Joey are safe! Now, with a little help from his dog Rimshot, Ernest must follow in the footsteps of his ancestor and take down Trantor before midnight on Halloween! We’ve got special guest Pissi Myles from My Spooky Gay Family joining us and we’re talking all things Ernest. We’re also talking about which MDU characters we would fuse, our first experiences with Ernest, and potential Ernest sequels we wish existed. So stock up on chocolate milk and Hostess cupcakes, pick the perfect place to build your high ground fort, and crack that authentic Bulgarian Miak, because all this talk about trolls is gonna leave Ernest Scared Stupid, know what we mean?

For all things Pissi visit PissiMyles.com and make sure to listen to My Spooky Gay Family!

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3.27 The Pit (1981)

It’s not easy being the world’s punching bag, especially when you’re 12. That is, unless you have the aid of a possessed (question mark) teddy bear to coax your unhinged thoughts into reality! Jamie is an incredibly unwell, disturbed, and perverted delinquent with an unhealthy obsession with the female form. When his 27th live-in babysitter, Sandy, begins her psychology thesis on him, his folks catch the last train for the coast while he descends deeper into his psychosis. Finally fed up with being bullied, deserted, and heartbroken, Jamie turns to his friends/pets for assistance—five…er four prehistoric ape men who’s hunger runs deeper than a king-sized chocolate bar. As the old saying goes, when life gives you Tra-la-logs, make your tormentors pay! We also discuss the battle of the century: Nick Cassavetes vs. John Hurt, which MDU child we would adopt, why people think Adam Sandler’s shtick is still funny, and the Halloween™ franchise timeline. Call an exorcist for those yellow-eyed talking teddies, grab that old porn mag Charlie Bounty Hunter gave you for Easter, and stock up on ground beef, because we’re getting slam dunked into The Pit!

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3.26 The Midnight Hour (1985)

Listen up little Dumpster Doggies, it’s Wolfman Jack and it’s All Hallow’s Eve in the sleepy New England town of Pitchford Cove—the perfect day of the year to recite an ancient curse that brings back the dead! Because that’s never gone poorly. Shari Belafonte accidentally resurrects a graveyard of party-going zombies, a couple of hungry werewolves, and her great-great-great-great grandmother, Lucinda Cavender, who just so happens to be a witch and a vampire. Ghosts, ghouls, and everything in-between take over the town and the only way to fix things is to complete a ritual before the clock strikes 12! LeVar Burton finally returns to the MDU and Munchie’s son…joins it? Plus, we give our picks for MDU kharacters and their fatalities to join the Mortal Kombat roster! So put on some Tooty Fruity lipstick, get cock-blocked by The Wolfman™, and watch out for drunk-driving zombie Kevin McCarthy, ’cause we’re sealing this date with a kiss at The Midnight Hour!

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M05 Jeff Lieberman

Hold out those pillow cases because we’ve got a sweet Halloween treat for ya! As a companion piece to our episode, 3.25 Satan’s Little Helper, we sit down and chew the candy corn with the man behind the madness, Jeff Lieberman! Director of beloved genre classics like ‘Squirm’ and ‘Just Before Dawn’, we do a deep dive into Jeff’s career from the early days of working at Cannon Films, to creating a Halloween classic. So, pull up a pumpkin, crack open a snickers and get cozy while we spin you this special interview.

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3.25 Satan’s Little Helper

Trick or Trash is back and ready to fill up your treat bags, Dumpster Dwellers! Dougie Whooly is a 9-year-old boy with a woefully oblivious family and an unhealthy obsession with a violent video game. While wandering around town on All Hallow’s Eve, he comes across a real-life serial killer in a Satan costume (question mark), who is committing murders and staging them as lawn decorations. Dougie’s ignorance and skewed view on reality are manipulated by this Satan Man and he is suddenly swooped up in a night of bloodshed that the little helper mistakes as pretend. Can Dougie’s older sister Katheryn Winnick or his heavily medicated mother Amanda Plummer save him before it’s too late? Who exactly is the man behind the mask? Is it the Six Flags Guy? Terry O’Quinn? Granny Van Daam?! We’re breaking this Halloween delight down for you, plus we figure out who we’d send in to save the MDU from a super-sized CharnetKong! Slip into your costume, put on a Nick Cave album, and flip through those Winter Stepfather books because we’re about to be sent back to Hell by Satan’s Little Helper!

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3.24 The Wraith

In a canyon town somewhere in the Midwest, Packard Walsh rules the open road with a gang of degenerates and tweakers. The literal ghost of the gang’s past begins to terrorize them, taking the form of a black clad racer with a grudge. Has one of Packard’s victims returned for vengeance? Is it Emilio Estevez? Has Randy Quaid EVER been this boring?! Oh and Clint Howard’s back with a Ben 10™ device strapped to his wrist. Buckle your seat belts, because we’re hopping in John Hurt’s car and taking a trip through the speed force with special guest Arlen Harrow! Long before he was “winning”, talking about having tiger blood, or committing any of the other heinous human rights violations he’s known for, Charlie Sheen was simply known as The Wraith!

Check out Arlen’s podcasts Los Harrow and The Phantom Zone!

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3.23 The Dungeonmaster

The terror of Esteban rages on! Computer programming wizard and possible super soldier Paul Bradford gets trapped in a battle for not only his soul, but also his girlfriend Gwen’s, against Satan himself aka Richard Moll. To keep things fair, the man downstairs lets Paul keep his reality bending Power Glove™ that is powered by his custom AI, the X-CaliBR8. This literal Omni-tool can not only hack an ATM, but also fire a laser on command, conjure a massive spectral dragon, and even pleasure Paul if he so chooses! The devil went down to Silicon Valley for the ultimate showdown between magic and technology. Oh, and Dungeons & Dragons…or something? We’re bringing you another movie from the Charles Band universe, with this pseudo anthology directed by some of our favorites including David Allen, John Carl Buechler, and even Peter Manoogian! We also take a deep dive into a potential MDU remake of Ghostbusters. So put on your Google Glass, call Blackie Lawless, and crank up that W.A.S.P., because we’re rolling some polyhedral dice and trying to hit a natural 20 with The Dungeonmaster!

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3.22 Evilspeak

By the three wizards on high, by the Van Daam thirst for lust, by the most feared and notorious name, John Hurt—WE HAVE RETURNED! After his parents perish in a car accident, Clint Howard is sent away to a Catholic military school where he is bullied by Bob Pinciotti. Forced to clean the church’s basement, occupied by Sarge “The Animal” Steele, Clint uncovers a hidden room which contains the instructions for a black mass to resurrect the damned soul of Richard Moll. With the powers of Hell and MS-DOS, Clint conjures the powers of darkness to consume his body and smite his enemies. We also inject Clint Howard into Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, and try to fix ‘Boo! A Madea Halloween’ with actual monsters. Boot up Windows ’95, secure that consecrated host, and give your corporeal form over to ESTEBAN™, because we are about to Google Translate some 13th century Latin into Evilspeak!

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3.21 Body Melt

The grill is cooling off and we’re breaking out the peach cobbler and watermelon! As our GARB-BQ winds down, we’re headed back to Australia for some goopy ozploitation goodness! Let your body learn, let your body build, let your Body Melt? When “pharmaceutical” company Vimuville™ begins using the residents of Pebbles Court as lab rats for a new supplement, things start to get really gross. As the hapless civilians each take the dangerous drug through various means, their bodies begin to destroy themselves from the inside out. We’ve got blood, boogers and more totally unwanted bodily fluids in this stomach turning classic. We also muse about Gary Busey’s favorite food, who really is the best movie villain of all time, if Vimuville is indeed a shell company for Umbrella—SPOILERS: IT IS, and our very own Dobby “The MDU Doormat” gets #swole. Joining in on the madness today is special guest, Jenna Fryer! Squeeze into your jogging suit, shoot down that fizzy vitamin drink, and crank up the Deep Purple, because we’re about to work it out with Body Melt!

You can support Jenna and her work over at the KillerWolf Films patreon!

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3.20 Munchie

Break out the macaroni and potato salad, because the hot dogs are about ready to come off the grill! The GARB-BQ continues with some Chuck E. Cheese™ nightmare fuel! Long before there were Demonic Toys or the Hugga Bunch, there existed an all-powerful creature older than time itself. Calamity followed it wherever it went, leaving countless lives destroyed and entire civilizations in ruins. Finally, the prophetic wrecking ball was sealed in a magic crate and tossed into a bottomless abyss to dwell with Lubdan and Kazaam. The immortal miscreant was meant to never be seen or heard from again…that is, until young Gage Dobson finds the box and opens it without a second thought. As a way of thanks for releasing him, Gage’s new friend uses powers beyond human comprehension to make any of Gage’s wildest dreams come true! So naturally he steals a pizza, enacts some petty revenge, and throws a party. Join us on our journey as we meet Jennifer Love Hewitt in her debut role, catch up with Bernie Lomax: ReAnimator, and reveal the true mastermind behind the Winter Stepfather program! We also decide which horror series antagonist our titular Dom DeLuise voiced character would replace in the MDU. Hop on that flying pizza, dream a little day dream, and update your standup material, because we are about to party ’til we perish with Munchie!

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3.19 Robot Jox

The GARB-BQ sizzles on with some frosty post-nuclear goodness! Following a nuclear apocalypse, the surviving American Market and Russian Confederation are constantly competing for resources and territory. After banning war, the next logical step for settling disputes was OBVIOUSLY through one-on-one giant mech fights! We follow the Jox, the people piloting these massive machines in mortal combat. There’s our hero Achilles, ace pilot and nine time winner, his mentor Tex, a drunk Texan with a secret (he’s not a spy though), Athena, the test tubie at the top of her class, and the Confederate pilot Alexander, a complete psychopath and Achilles’ rival. Who will walk away with the victory for their faction? Why do all the tubies have a Jedi padawan haircut? Are we all just living in the CharNatrix? Plus, we decide if any American-made mech could possibly stand up to the power of a Gundam! Heat up that singular hotdog for your whole family, pour one out for Dak Ralter, and grab a seat with the bleacher bums because we’re about to crash and burn with Robot Jox!

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3.18 Razorback

Grab yourself a cold one and throw some pork chops on the grill, Movie Dumpster’s GARB-BQ has officially begun! Our first delicious morsel of the month comes straight to you from the Australian Outback. After a massive wild hog charges through his house like a fireball and eats his grandson, Jake Cullen makes it his life’s work to find the aberration and destroy it. Two years later, American wildlife reporter Beth Winters arrives to investigate Toecutter’s gang. Soon the beast resurfaces and only “Jesus Wept” Jake, his daughter “Oracle” Sarah, and Beth’s husband “I’ll Grieve When I’m Dead” Carl, can stand against not only The Acolytes, but the hulking man-eater too! We also pick our teams for a potential tornado tag match versus John Hurt, Granny Van Daam, and Daniel Baldwin. Plus, Gunnar the White gives us a breakdown of his former life in the Sawyer family, Steve Irwin and Simon Bossell stop by to say g’day, and Haggerty the Blue’s brother from down under makes their debut! So wake up from Richard Stanley’s nightmare, climb out of a mineshaft, and drive your War Rig on over to Gas Town, because we’re hunting down Razorback!

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3.17 Orca (1977)

A happy couple have their world destroyed when a greedy drunk attacks their home and leaves a mother dead, along with her unborn fetus. The father survives and makes the misery and death of the one who ruined his life the only thing that can satiate his vengeance…all told from the viewpoint of a killer whale! Captain Nolan played by Richard ‘Dumbledore Prime’ Harris tries everything in his power to avoid coming to blows with his aquatic adversary, even as the whale destroys the town around him. Bo Derek and Will Sampson also come along for the ride because our journey wouldn’t be complete without a damsel in distress and a Native American stereotype! C.B. Smith from ‘Taking a Page’ joins us to talk about the differences between the novel and the film and OH BOY, are they plentiful! Break out the circus peanuts, headbutt a Jaws™ into oblivion, and lead your nemesis toward their icy grave, because we’re breaching into Orca!

Check out C.B. Smith’s channel, ‘Taking a Page’.

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M04 Ami Dolenz

Watch out for those skittering blood-suckers, especially that massive Panic-sized one, because we’re bringing you another minisode! We interviewed the wonderful Ami Dolenz as a companion piece to our latest episode, 3.16 Ticks! We asked Ami about her time working on the flick, along with some of her other roles including Stepmonster, Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway, Pumpkinhead II: Bloodwings, and more. So sit back, put your feet up, hit play, and please ignore the infested Clint Howard in the corner.

Make sure to check out Ami’s artwork as well as her children’s book at Amibluebellart.com!

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3.16 Ticks

In the woods across from the old campgrounds where Gunnar Hansen battled giant mosquitoes, Clint Howard is using some of Farmer Spivey’s secret ingredient to help his latest batch of super weed grow faster. A barrel of toxic waste spills carelessly through the floor onto some arachnid eggs, causing them to multiply in size and hatch into giant, blood-sucking parasites. But don’t panic—we’ve got Alfonso Ribeiro and Seth Green here to squash them! With an angry reincarnated Hesse from Demonic Toys out for revenge against Charnetski the Brown, some mutated eight-legged freaks seem like the least of their problems! Then there’s those strange science experiments Wayne Szalinski was talking into a tape recorder about—something about a Necronomicon he found in the basement of the cabin or whatever? Uwe Boll also makes his sad return to the show as we take some listener questions. So climb out of that mine shaft, light up a fat J-bird, and summon Simon Bossell’s flaming broom, because we are about to be infested with Ticks!

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3.15 Deathdream (1974)

THE NIGHT HE CAME HOME! Happy 4th of July, Dumpster Dwellers! Following our Black Christmas episode last season, we bring you the Bob Clark horror classic that inspired it. After receiving word that her son Andy has been killed in Vietnam, a grieving mother stresses the universe into instantaneously resurrecting him. Be careful of what you wish for though, because that boy ain’t right! Cold, emotionless, and sadistic, the Andy his family and friends knew didn’t make it out of the war. We dive headfirst into uncomfortable topics like family drama, the horrors of war and the people who come back from it, and how exactly a father could screw up so badly. Uh…Happy 4th! Is Andy a Revenant? Is Quan Chi behind this? Will Dr. Loomis finally be of any use? Find out by pulling up a rocking chair and join us in the dead of night for Deathdream!

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M03 Greydon Clark

We hope you all were able to get away from that pesky mutant cat and are safely aboard your lifeboats (hopefully with that duffel bag full of hundreds). That is, if you’ve already survived our latest episode, 3.14 Uninvited! There’s no land in sight, so It looks like you won’t be going anywhere for awhile. Why don’t you kick back and fill your ears with the companion piece to our ‘Uninvited’ episode, where we chat with writer, director, producer, and legend of low-budget filmmaking, Greydon Clark!

You can purchase Greydon’s book, ‘On The Cheap: My Life in Low-Budget Filmmaking’, as well as his entire catalog of films from his website, GreydonClark.com.

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3.14 Uninvited (1987)

What do you do when you find a mutant cat living inside of a regular cat? First, you should hope the mutant cat isn’t hiding an even smaller mutant cat inside of it. Next, you probably SHOULDN’T isolate yourselves on a yacht with a sociopathic Wall Street criminal. Fortunately for us, that’s exactly what happens in this movie! Five partygoers on spring break find themselves stranded in the middle of the ocean with rich scumbags, Alex Cord and George Kennedy, as a poisonous and morally ambiguous cat wreaks havoc on them while cackling from the shadows. Will the hapless humans survive or will the cat dish out it’s own kind of Final Justice™? Put in your false teeth, break out the champagne & corn flakes, and shout out a hearty ‘FOOP’, because we’re chartering the ‘Slam Dunk’ to climb aboard Greydon Clark’s Uninvited!

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3.13 The Stepfather (1987)

Make room for daddy⁠—it’s a Stepfather’s Day special! Terry O’Quinn is a mild-mannered all-American dad with traditional ‘Leave It to Beaver’ values and a penchant for murder. A master of disguise, Terry dices up the families he ingrains himself in for minor infractions and disappears without a trace, only to repeat the cycle with another vulnerable family. Now married to widowed Shelley Hack, things start falling apart when his troubled stepdaughter, Jill Schoelen, begins researching his past because nobody that realized Mr. Ed wasn’t actually a horse that could talk until high school is sane. With a rogue therapist and the vigilante known as ‘The Discipliner’ hot on his trail, it’s only a matter of time before the Stepfather™ is backed into a corner asking, “Who am I here?” Slip on your flannel jacket, throw your suitcase full of evidence into the ocean, and whistle a little Camptown Races, because we’re moving in with The Stepfather!

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M2.5 Michael Ray Bower

The second half of our monster interview with Michael Ray Bower! Old Spivey threw a few extra heapins of his secret ingredient into this batch, so make sure you listen to our episode, 3.12 The Willies, and Part 1 of the interview⁠ because it’ll make Part 2 extra good!

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M02 Michael Ray Bower

We hope everyone wasn’t too spooked by our latest episode, The Willies, because we’re serving up a 2-part companion piece! We had the pleasure of chatting with “Fly Boy” himself, Michael Ray Bower, about his entire career as well as taking a peek behind the tent flap of his starring segment. So, grab a 10-piece bucket of Tennessee Fricassee Chicken™ and pull up a sleeping bag because we’re about to have a campfire convo so big we had to split it in two!

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3.12 The Willies

Gather ’round the campfire with Mikey from The Goonies™, as he weaves a tapestry of spooky tales! We roll into our first anthology film and bump into wayward Twin Peaks residents, adolescent bullies, a suspiciously friendly janitor, and a boy with a gut-churning obsession with flies. Connor gets emotional about rat violence, we talk about the infamous & unforgettable ‘ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter’ ride at Disney, and we all wonder what exactly our folks were recording on extended-play tapes back in the ’90s. Pluck a few of Farmer Spivey’s mutated veggies, set that poodle in the microwave for three minutes, and try not to pee your pants, because we’re about to get a serious case of The Willies!

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3.11 The Meteor Man

Unassuming substitute teacher Jefferson Reed is struck by a very Kryptonian looking meteorite, blessing him with amazing and inconsistent superpowers! Jefferson must now use his newfound abilities to defend his neighborhood from the Golden Lords™, a gang of bleach blonde haired criminals consisting of suit-wearing babies, Don Cheadle, Kung-Fu Larry, and the Riddler! Can Jefferson succeed against all odds? Does this sound a little too much like DC’s Black Lightning? Will James Earl Jones ever find the perfect wig? Find all the answers to these questions and more, as we take a deep dive into the first black superhero movie! Slip into your homemade super suit, say hello to Sinbad, and please avoid the Jello™, because we’re taking to the skies for The Meteor Man!

Joining us is special guest and resident artist, Davey The Scaredy Cat De Forne!

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3.10 The Suckling

At one of Granny Van Daam’s brothels, a young woman gets a messy coat hanger abortion and the fetus is unceremoniously flushed down the toilet. Down the drain, a canister of TGRI™ mutagen ooze drips onto the discarded sewage baby and transforms it into an eight-foot tall hairless killing machine. Using unexplained embryonic powers, it traps and hunts the working women and their clients inside, before taking a detour in the MDU to have a little fun! Grab your briefcase full of dildos, slap on your propeller hat, and watch out for that umbilical cord, because Big Momma and the gang are about to terminate The Suckling!

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3.9 House II: The Second Story

Our Quaran-Team Up with Slashers Podcast comes to a close! Ignoring the original film, Roger Cobb and Norm from ‘Cheers’ are replaced by two bumbling idiots, their undead prospector Gramps, and Cliff…the OTHER guy from ‘Cheers.’ They soon find out the house doubles as an Aztec temple when portals to other dimensions start opening all around it. The only way to close them? A Crystal Skull™ that is constantly stolen by random dimension-hopping denizens, but is also craved by a zombie-ghost cowboy named Slim Razor who has a bone to pick with Gramps? Bill Maher also shows up to be a total dink. So throw your friend a surprise Halloween party, dig up your mummified grandpappy, and feed your caterpuppy a nice baby bottle full of beer, because we’re climbing the stairs to House II: The Second Story!

Joining us is special guest, Jake, from Slashers Podcast!

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3.8 John Carpenter’s Vampires

Daniel Baldwin makes his triumphant return to the MDU and he’s brought James Woods with him! Barely an adaptation of the novel ‘Vampire$’, John Carpenter’s contemporary take on a western vampire flick is filled to the brim with testosterone and buckets of blood. It might even give you a little mahogany. So grab your crossbow, strap Laura Palmer to a bed, and GET IN THE CAR, because we’re jamming a stake deep into John Carpenter’s Vampires!

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3.7 The Being

Welcome to Pottsville, Idaho! A place where unsafe nuclear waste disposal is okay, but smut must be swept away! A ravenous booger monster rises from a chemical cesspool to terrorize the town on Easter weekend, and only death defying sheriff, Rexx Coltrane, can stop it. He just might need a little help from Martin Landau and a Gnome named Gnorm. Pluck yourself some Idaho potatoes, clean the slime out of your trunk, and watch out for Cacodemons because we’re going radioactive with The Being!

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3.6 Shakes The Clown

Happy April Fools Day! We hope you’re not still burned by our Jurassic Park episode last year, but we can assure you that this episode IS NOT a loop of Jeff Goldblum laughing. Instead, we bring you unbridled clown debauchery! Depressed alcoholic party clown, Bobcat Goldthwait’s Shakes, is framed for killing his boss by Tom Kenny’s The Joker™, so he teams up with Adam Sandler and Blake Clark (who are also clowns) to clear his name. Basically, everyone in this movie is a clown, including our guest Rudy Reel! Bake up a custard pie, top off your favorite flask, and get ready to hurl, because we’re juggling our way into Shakes the Clown.

Joining us is special guest, Rudy Reel of Lucky Duck Entertainment and O-Street Mini Golf!

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3.5 The Boneyard

Retired homicide psychic, Alley Oates, is pulled away from her job as the MDU Wizards’ landlord to help solve a case surrounding a trio of dead children. Unfortunately, the little rugrats are hosts to ancient, man-eating, Chinese demons called Kyoshi™…and they’re hungry! Now, trapped in a mortuary with no escape, a group of strictly average people must come together to survive not only ravenous ghouls, but also Phyllis ‘Poopinplatz’ Diller and her beloved pooch, Floofsums. So, climb out of your trash heap, grab that Starship Troopers rifle out of the evidence room, and let Lionel know his mother is back, because we’re digging deep into The Boneyard!

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3.4 A Very Unlucky Leprechaun

For the love of Rawhead, it’s a St. Paddy’s Day special! Join us as we take a trip down the ol’ wishing well to Ireland and find ourselves a four-leaf clover. Warwick Davis returns to the role of a leprechaun once again for a magical journey involving a neglected little girl, her horrible father, a drunken Irishman, and a talking sex toy. So, slop some corned beef on a plate, slurp down that Shamrock Shake™, and kiss your lucky rabbit’s foot, because you’re going to need all the luck you can get while we receive a mystical flogging from A Very Unlucky Leprechaun!

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M01 Simon Bossell

Happy Leap Day, dumpster dwellers! We’re taking this extra day to bring you guys our very first minisode 💚📼 – the companion piece to our episode, 3.3 Aberration (1997). We had the pleasure of chatting with leading lizard killer, Simon Bossell, about working on ‘Aberration’, the acting life, and our favorite Ozploitation films. So, gather ’round the campfire and grab a bag of potato flakes as we slip behind the scenes of Aberration!

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3.3 Aberration (1997)

Pamela Gidley flees her criminal Russian stereotype of an ex to her family’s dilapidated cabin in the freezing northwest. Unfortunately, man-eating geckos have been using her house as a breeding ground and, as Worf repeatedly reminds us, they’ve adapted. Wisecracking field researcher Simon Bossell and Dobby the house-elf join Pamela in a battle to see how many explosions they can walk away from without looking. Put on some protective eyewear, fill up your Super Soaker™ with expired poison, and keep your eyes peeled for skittering reptiles, because we’re about to get knocked to the bottom of the food chain by Aberration!

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Logo Artwork by David De Forne.

3.2 Valentine

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cupid has a knife, and he’s coming for you! After Katherine Heigl gets Drew Barrymore’d, a group of affluent women receive elaborate Riddler notes signed by JM, a mysterious stalker out for their blood. Could it have anything to do with young Jeremy Melton that they humiliated at their junior high Valentine’s dance? Nah, it’s probably just Pumpkinhead. David Boreanaz stops by to do his best Mrs. Doubtfire impression and Denise Richards returns to the MDU for a Valentine’s Day event. Light some candles to set the mood, open up that box of chocolate covered maggots, and throw on your favorite Static-X slow jam, because we want you to be our Valentine!

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3.1 Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings

WELCOME BACK! Season 3 is here and we’ve all been infected by sequel-itis right out of the gate. Symptoms range from odd Clinton family cameos to Hellraiser actors suddenly appearing. If you or a loved one is infected with Blood Wings™, please call a doctor immediately. Otherwise, join Sean, Joe, Connor, and special guest Tony from Hack The Movies, in the infirmary for the season premiere of Movie Dumpster! Build your model cemetery, boot up your weird tie-in PC game, and call us a doctor because we’re about to be dropped down a mine shaft by Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings!

Joining us is special guest, Tony Piluso from Hack The Movies and Cinemassacre!

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Logo artwork by David De Forne.

2.35 Season Two Finale

Dread it, run from it…Season 3 arrives just the same. In time you will know what it’s like to watch Pluto Nash…or Elves. To feel so desperately like you want to pull a bag over your own head like in Black Christmas. The hardest choices require the strongest wills, but we made it through 2019 and nobody got turned into dust or killed by an anti-matter wave. Do we feel good about our choices? Did we change our minds? Did Granny Van Daam run away with 2019 or will she play second fiddle to a growing roster of MDU wizards? So grab literally anything from this year’s trash heap and get cozy on this brand spankin’ New Year’s day as we reflect on Movie Dumpster season 2! Cue flashback sequence.

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2.34 Black Christmas (1974)

The 1974 Bob Clark classic! A sorority house is being stalked by a killer lurking in the attic on Christmas. The glistening star that brightly shines atop our Christmas tree, the birth of our dear genre as we know it, and the three wise(ass) men to walk you through it. And really, WHAT YOUR MOTHER AND I MUST KNOW IS…why do we keep remaking great movies? Grab that bottle of booze hidden in your toilet, cancel your other phone line, and make sure you lock your attic windows because we are about to have ourselves a bloody little Black Christmas.

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2.33 Elves

DE ELFEN HOUTEN LEVEN! God creates elves, Nazis destroy God, Nazis create elves. Kirstin is just your average teenage thirty-something but her lineage harbors a dark secret. It is said that on Christmas Eve, the master race will be brought forth by the consummation of a genetically-engineered Elf and a perfectly inbred human host—that is, unless ex-detective Dan Haggerty has anything to say about it! Grab a carton of Marlboro’s, sketch some Art Deco boobs, and steal your dadpa’s grimoire because we are about conjure up some Elves.

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Logo Artwork by David De Forne.

2.32 Prancer

Merry Christmas? Trashing Through the Snow returns with a joyless, depressing alternate timeline where the holidays are filled with blue collar suffering and sad, sunken-eyed adults. Join us as we follow little Jessica Riggs, who attempts to nurse an injured reindeer back to health because she’s convinced it’s one of Santa’s eight loyal reindeer. Is the reindeer really magical? Does this movie ever convey the spirit of Christmas? Do reindeer really sound like a screaming, pitch-shifted Sam Worthington? Will Charnetski the Brown ever leave Granny Van Daam’s sex dungeon? Feed a reindeer five pounds of Christmas cookies, write an incriminating letter to Santa, and pray to God your orchard turns around, because we’re about to fall headfirst out of a tree onto Prancer!

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Logo Artwork by Davey “The Scaredy Cat” De Forne.

2.31 Blood Rage

Happy Thanksgiving! Join us as we dig through a little Thanksgarbage and find ourselves something that’s definitely not cranberry sauce! When young Terry’s mommy issues turn fatal one night at the drive-in, he ends up framing his twin brother Todd for murder. After spending a decade in an asylum, Todd escapes to head home on Thanksgiving. With the news of his brother’s escape, and his mother’s brand new engagement, Terry’s dormant rage is revived. Throw some pumpkin pie against the wall, spark up that j-bird, and grab your machete because we are about to slice into some Blood Rage.

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2.30 Terminator: Salvation

Welcome to the future Sarah Connor tried warning us about and we aren’t talking about T3. In the bleak, post Judgment Day world, an adult John Connor is a Resistance fighter in the war against the Machines. Elsewhere, condemned stranger Marcus Wright awakens inside a Skynet facility with no memory of how he got there and seemingly no knowledge of the global destruction carried out by Skynet. Will their paths converge? Will Arnold Schwarzenegger make a forced cameo? Is Christian Bale the savior of not only humanity, but of the MDU?! Can Sam Worthington believably scream on camera? All these questions might be answered in our very special Terminator episode of Movie Dumpster. Forget your clothes, your boots and your motorcycles, because we’re about to nakedly time travel into the inevitable future of Terminator: Salvation!

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2.29 Trick or Treat

Things couldn’t be worse for Eddie “Ragman” Weinbauer. When his hero Sammi Curr dies in a ritualistic hotel fire, things really get low. That is until Gene Simmons gives him the only copy of Sammi’s final album post mortem! Soon Eddie realizes he can communicate with his dead idol through the record, and gets revenge on the bullies at school, but Sammi has more sinister plans. Grab a twinkie, your jean jacket & studs, and play your metal album backwards because we are knockin’ for a sweet surprise with Trick or Treat! What are you afraid of? It’s only rock n’ roll.

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2.28 Two Heads Are Better Than None

Ken Foree takes the entire Rockmore clan on a road trip across America, only to find his hated enemy and Kenan’s best friend, Kel, has stowed away in the trunk. Their travels take them on a wild ride through Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen, a chance encounter with a piano playing Cybo-Man, ketchup obsessed white people, Michael Berryman, and an incompetent headless knight. We’re counting 1 million bottles of orange soda on the wall, as we question WHYYYYY the final episode of the Nickelodeon classic Kenan and Kel thought Two Heads Were Better Than None.

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2.27 Demonic Toys

Detective Judith Gray chases two criminals into a run down warehouse, only to find it haunted by a childlike demon who controls an army of dolls. After discovering the warehouse is locked up until dawn, it’s up to Judith, Charnetski, and a rag tag group to battle a potty-mouthed baby doll, a fanged jack-in-the-box, and a sinister teddy bear! It’s Full Moon madness in this gory toy story, so grab a demon fetus and a bucket of Chunky Chicken, because we’re winding up our Demonic Toys!

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Logo Artwork by Davey “The Scaredy Cat” De Forne.

2.26 Mr. Boogedy

Trick or Trash is back with a Disney Channel Sunday Movie classic! Gag gift salesman Richard Masur moves his family to the aptly named Lucifer Falls and into the haunted house on 29 Neibolt Street. Not only must they contend with a stunningly ineffective ghost known as Mr. Boogedy, but also a Babadook-esque Gomez Addams squatting in their home. Power up your vacuum and hand buzzers, because we’re getting gooey with Mr. Boogedy!

Joining us is special guest, Matt Curione! Host of the Monsters Never Die! Podcast.

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2.25 Green Lantern

Our final Blockbuster Bomb lands right on Ryan Reynolds’ head, in the super hero movie flop that was meant to kick off the DCCU. A few lazy ideas lifted from Geoff Johns’ modern take on Hal Jordan, result in an overstuffed, convoluted mess of a plot. CGI body suits and Star Sapphire’s depiction are not the only mortal sins of this 2011 adaptation. Slip on your power ring of choice and join us in our intergalactic journey through Space Sector 2814, this is the Green Lantern!

Joining us is special guest, Arlen Harrow! Editor-in-chief of Los Harrow and co-host of the Phantom Zone.

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2.24 The 13th Warrior

Arabian poet, Antonio Banderas, fools around with the caliph’s wife and gets promoted to lord of the dessert. During his trek, he runs afoul of a Viking camp where Granny Van Daam dubs him the 13th warrior of a quest that will lead to certain death. Now he must band together with a rough-and-tumble group of lovable bearded bad-asses to defend a village from a (seemingly) unstoppable supernatural force. Brush up on your old Norse, ask the smithy to fashion you a scimitar, and grab a piece of your fallen comrade to munch on because we’re about to crack open the lost ancient text of The 13th Warrior.

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2.23 The Adventures of Pluto Nash

When ex-smuggler Pluto Nash refuses to have his night club bought out by the mysterious Rex Crater, Joe Pantoliano tries to kill him and “hilarity” ensues. From the banality ridden heap of our Blockbuster Bombs fallout rises a film that should have been shot into the sun. Charge up your outdated robot bodyguard, make a martini in your mouth, and pour one out for Eddie Murphy’s career because we’re about to moonwalk across The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

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2.22 Deep Rising

When a sadistic billionaire decides to sink his dream boat for a hefty insurance payout, a giant sea monster decides to crash the party for a bite to eat. Treat “If the cash is there, we do not care” Williams must lead a rag tag group of mercs including Kano, Sagat, and Korath, guns blazing through the infested ship of death! Will they make it out alive? What happened to Rodney Dangerfield after he stuck the Triple Lindy? Can the maid from the Sedgewick Hotel ever truly get a break? Get ready to say hello to the Chinese M1-L1 Triple Pulse Assault Rifle, brush up on your marine biology, and don’t lose those engine parts because we’re going full scream ahead into Deep Rising!

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2.21 Reign of Fire

Decades ago, humans delved too greedily and too deep into Moria and awoke the dragon Paarthurnax from its slumber. Following Judgment Day, Christian Bale leads the last vestiges of humankind against a storm of dragons that just want to watch the world burn. Only dragon slayer Matthew “Van Zan” McConaughey and his small army of rootin’-tootin’ Americans can shift the odds in humanity’s favor. Ready your magnesium-tipped C4 crossbow bolts, wait until the magic hour, and join Gerard Butler in archangel falling 17 seconds from the sky into Reign of Fire!

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2.20 Clash of the Titans (2010)

When Pete Postlethwaite is murdered by Lord Voldemort, his half-god son Perseus sets out with his D&D party on a quest for revenge. Mads Mikkelsen, Liam Cunningham, and Gemma Arterton, all star along Sam Worthington, in a remake of the classic film that nobody asked for. Grab your lightsaber, wrangle up some giant scorpions, and throw on your chiton (we’re looking at you Zeus), because we’re releasing the Kraken with the first of our summer Blockbuster Bombs, Clash of the Titans!

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2.19 Ghost Shark

Crenshaw from Boggy Creek II pours hot sauce on a great white shark and blows it up with a grenade, but its corpse lands in a magic cave that resurrects its spirit. Hungry for revenge, the iridescent blue fruit snack travels across all manner of water to chomp down on anyone it can wrap it’s jaws around. Only Gunnar Hansen, Granny Van Daam, and a group of teenagers without any redeeming qualities can stop it! Drink from a haunted water cooler, bite into some sexual chocolate, and please, DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE POOL PARTY, because we’re Slip N Sliding into Ghost Shark!

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2.18 Super Mario Bros.

Mario and Luigi jump through a hell portal beneath Brooklyn and land in a parallel dimension where dinosaurs evolved into the dominant species. Run by germaphobe dictator King Koopa, the plumbers must track down Princess Daisy before Koopa forces her to merge the fungus-covered Dinohattan with our world. Strap on your tool belt, trust the fungus, and click those stomper heels together, because we’re about to world warp with Super Mario Bros!

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2.17 Child’s Play 3

Eight years after being set on fire, shot multiple times, losing a hand, bathed in molten plastic, and pneumatically exploding, Chucky is somehow reanimated by the Play Pals company again. Still looking to transfer his soul into a human body, he tracks Andy Barclay to a deranged military school and finds fresh meat in the delusional Tyler. Will Charles Lee Ray finally finish that incantation? Find out as we take a page from the book, get balded out by Uncle Frank, and spit-shine our combat boots! In honor of a remake no one asked for, we’re unboxing Child’s Play 3.

Joining us is special guest, C.B. Smith! Check out his channel, where he covers books and their adaptations (or the opposite in this case).

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2.16 Prehysteria! 3

Raisin-loving Pygmy dinosaurs fall off the back of a truck and find themselves on a rundown miniature golf course owned by Fred Willard. Scotland enthusiast Ella and her family live on the mini-putt, but their livelihood is threatened by Ella’s evil Uncle Hal and his henchman, the Reverse-Flash Eobard Thawne. Now, the only thing standing between the McGregors and total destruction is 18 holes. Slip into your favorite kilt, pull that magic putter from the stone, and slop some haggis onto a bun, because we’re chowing down on some Dino Burgers by the grassy knoll back and to the left of Prehysteria! 3.

Special Thanks to O-Street Mini Golf Association and Lucky Duck Entertainment.

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2.15 Drainiac!

Christmas Eve a few years ago, a couple of bums wandered into the house from Mosquito and were sucked dry by a green slime emanating from a drain pipe. A water elemental haunts these lands now and only the resurrected Gunnar Hansen the White can save the unlucky group of teenage “friends” trapped by the demon. Grab your grimoire, light some candles placed at the tips of a pentagram, and climb into a haunted bathtub, because we’re spiraling down into Drainiac!

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2.14 Titanic II

On the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking, Shane Van Dyke takes his replica ship Titanic II on it’s maiden voyage. The same day, an iceberg the size of Rhode Island falls into the Atlantic Ocean, sending a ripple of super tsunamis across the globe. With entire countries under water, can Bruce Davison stay awake long enough to save his daughter from icebergs rocketing towards the Titanic II at 843 miles per hour? Turn on your ice detectors, slip into some scuba gear, and let the icy cold water wash over you, because we’re about to sink Titanic II.

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2.13 Bushwhacked

After surviving the events of C.H.U.D., Daniel Stern changes his name to “Mad” Marv Merchants and takes a job as a delivery driver, where he falls for an obvious scam and is framed for the murder of his millionaire client, Dr. Frederick Chilton. On the lamb from FBI Agent Michael “The Suit” Minelli, Marv switches places with scoutmaster “Spider” Erickson and serendipitously leads a troop of Ranger Scouts up Devil’s Peak—a treacherous trail complete with a Temple of Doom bridge! The race is on to intercept a package that will clear his name at 10am sharp, guaranteed. Grab two packs of Malboros, two Sno Balls, and a jumbo Coke, because we’re about to get Bushwhacked.

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2.12 Howard the Duck

Howard is just your average anthropomorphic duck living on a parallel Earth—aptly named Duckworld. That is, until Dr. Jeffrey Jones foolishly uses the Buch-cannon™ to beam him to Cleveland. Stranded, Howard teams up with local rocker Lea Thompson and Tim “Museum Janitor” Robbins to search for a way home, and possibly some hairless ape fornication. Oh yeah, then Jeffrey Jones gets possessed by a demonic “Dark Overlord of the Universe” that turns him into Emperor Palpatine for some reason! Practice your Quack Fu, do some toot, and grab this month’s issue of Playduck, because we are about to get shot through space via Lazyboy with Howard the Duck.

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2.11 Critters 2: The Main Course

Two years after ravenous space furbies invaded Grover’s Bend, Scott Grimes returns home to visit his Nana “Granny Van Daam” for Easter. A clutch of over-ripened avocados mistaken for Easter eggs hatch, flooding the town with the devious man-eating crites. Aided by alien bounty hunters Ug, Lee, and Charlie, a spittoon-spitting sheriff, Lars from Heavyweights, Lin Shaye, and Eddie Deezen, the town just might stand a chance against a literal giant ball of killer tribbles. Order a polar burger, some buffalo chips, and wash it all down with a moo shake because we’re about to take a bite out of Critters 2: The Main Course. KILL CRITES!

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2.10 Bunraku

Dreadlocked Ron Pearlman rules post-apocalyptic feudal Neo Japan, where guns are banned and everyone knows martial arts, with an iron fist. Drifter Josh Hartnet and samurai Gackt walk into a bar and meet the one person central to the plot, soliloquizing bartender and pop-up funny enthusiast, Woody Harrelson. Together, they lead a revolution of chimney sweepers against an army of redshirts and Kevin McKidd. Grab your grandpa’s medallion, a fifty-five dollar glass of whiskey, and cock those fist guns, because this ain’t no ordinary puppet show—it’s BUNRAKU!

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2.9 Star Kid

When an evil Broodwarrior lands on Earth, Tim from Jurassic Park plugs his brain into the Guyver Unit and becomes the only force powerful enough to save the world: URKELBOT! With the suit’s superior military weaponry, not only can he transform his arm into a gun, but he can also punish bullies and impress girls! Step into an alien cyborsuit, ingest a synthesized nebula burger, and try not to destroy your house in the process, because we’re suiting up for Star Kid!

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2.8 Jurassic Park

Meet John Hammond, an old man who doesn’t know what to do with his fortune, so he decides to clone some dino DNA and open a theme park. He flies in power couple and dinosaur experts, Sam Neil and Laura Dern, along with chaos theorist, Jeff Goldblum, and a blood-sucking lawyer to prove to his investors that the park is completely safe. Once there, everything goes to shit, after a disgruntled Newman shuts all the power off on the island, so that he can steal some T-Rex blood for the competition. With prehistoric powerhouses roaming free, can life, uh, find a way? Tie your seat belts ends together, slap on your night vision goggles, and pop open your can of shaving cream, because no expense will be spared while we make our way through Jurassic Park. Hold on to your butts!

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2.7 In Pursuit

Daniel Baldwin is a terrible lawyer that can’t seem to get a break. That is, until he’s framed for murder by a German super model? Al from Quantum Leap? Both at once? With the help of his lawyer and her cat, he sets out to clear his name and get drunk in La Paz. This isn’t the Hardy Boys or a Nancy Drew Mystery, it’s just Daniel Baldwin and Coolio in your vicinity. Take some photos of a fake car accident, pretend you don’t understand Spanish, and shoot down that tequila because we are about to fight a cougar while In Pursuit.

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2.6 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Trying to cash in on the Blair Witch Project hype, Jeffrey “Jeff” Donovan takes a group of played out stereotypes into the woods on a tour of locations from the film. Except, they are actual historical locations or something and the witch is real…but she might not be? Throw on a pot of coffee, pull up a chair, and get your eyeballs right up to that monitor, because we’re staring blankly into Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.

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2.5 Luck of The Irish

Kyle Johnson is a high school basketball star without any heritage, until he finds out that for the love of Mike, he’s actually a leprechaun! With the help of his friends and his potato chip tycoon grandpa Henry Gibson, Kyle might take down the Saint of the Step, in a life or death basketball game. Grab your green beer, catch that flying pot of corn beef and cabbage, take a shot of Jameson, and eat yerself an Irish potato! Saints preserve us, this is the Luck of the Irish.

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2.4 Bleeders

In 1652, the King of Holland told the noble families to stop with the incest, so the Van Daams packed up and moved to America. Now, Robert Smith’s search for a cure to his rare blood disease leads him to the Van Daam family home, guarded by a granny with a shotgun. “A sauced Rutger Hauer battles mutants that feed on embalming fluid in an underground cavern,” sounds a lot better on paper. Secure your birthright, eat that pickled baby, and stay clear of open graves because we are about to get Van Daminated by Hemoglobin aka Bleeders!

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2.3 The Punisher (1989)

When a power struggle between the Mafia and Yakuza emerges, Dolph Lundgren drags his sweaty, naked ass out of the sewers to bring death and destruction to both sides. Louis Gossett Jr. also throws a pizza at a wiseguy. Paint on your beard, ready your RC car, and don’t even think about asking why there’s no skull on his shirt, because we’re about to be judged by The Punisher.

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2.2 Dragonball: Evolution

Highschool student Goku is a martial artist with lightning fast reflexes, who just happens to be a white dude. After alien dark elf Piccolo drops a house on his grandpa, Goku joins up with Bulma and Muten Roshi to gather the magical dragonballs to stop him…or something. Akira Toriyama is rolling in his grave and he’s not even dead. Take a deep breath, channel your ki, and practice that Kamehameha until Ernie Hudson is satisfied! For the love of god, this is Dragonball: Evolution.

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2.1 The Lawnmower Man

We’re back for season 2 and oh boy is it a doozie! When genetically modified RoboChimp and protector of the innocent, “Cybo-Man”, escapes from the evil Umbrella Corporation, it finds a friend in local greenskeeper, Jobe Smith. Now, with the help of mad scientist Dr. Larry Angelo and his virtual reality machine, Cybo-Man and Jobe are teaming up for the ultimate showdown against Umbrella. So grab your revolver, zip up your TRON bodysuit, and strap into your gyroscope, because we are about to jack into The Lawnmower Man!

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1.38 Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House

In an alternate timeline that acknowledges previous events that couldn’t have possibly happened, bizarro Kevin McCallister has to stop French Stewart from kidnapping a prince. Grab that piggy bank, a toy spy kit, and your transitional object because we are about to be clobbered by something worse than an iron to the face—Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House.

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1.37 Holiday Switch

From the black pit of Lifetime, a Christmas movie made for no one, has been spewed forth into our reality. Nicole Eggert is a garbage human being who doesn’t appreciate anything. After rooting through a pile of laundry 10 feet high and complaining about how awful her life is, she cracks her fragile dome on her washing machine. She is then transported into an alternate life of wealth and prescription drugs. Build yourself a popsicle stick reindeer and put on that $1,200 red dress because we are about to husband swap with Holiday Switch.

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1.36 The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t

When mustache twirling bad guy, Phineas T. Prune, buys the North Pole and threatens to evict Santa, jolly ol’ Saint Nick has only one option: get the rent money before Christmas! Thankfully, everyone central to the plot lives in the same location. With the help of broke man-child lawyer, Sam Whipple, and a song for every situation you can imagine, Kris Kringle must become the original mall Santa to save Christmas. So, practice your ho ho ho’s, play with some toys, and think to yourself, just think, think, THINK, because this is The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t.

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1.35 Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg loses a game of curling against a dime store Christopher Lloyd and is forced to give presents to children every year on December 25th. After the bet wager is decidedly paid up, Goldberg returns to his historic holiday havoc and flips it into high gear—starting with Fran Drescher. Kicking off our month of “Trashing Through the Snow” with a real shining star upon the highest bough, grab some deli meats, a curling stone, and your grandfather’s book of Norse mythology because your chimney’s about to be blown out by Santa’s Slay. WHO’S NEXT?!

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1.34 Home Sweet Home

After a bunch of people who aren’t related gather at a remote ranch for Thanksgiving day, they kind of meander around until Jake “The Body” Steinfeld arrives to murder them in a PCP fueled rage. Slip a syringe under your tongue, hide the peas, and get your KISS paint on because we are about to get body slammed by Home Sweet Home.

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1.33 Baby’s Day Out

When billionaire momma, Lara Flynn Boyle, decides to get Baby Bink’s picture taken for the paper, she falls for the most obvious scam of all time and the baby is kidnapped. Unfortunately, the captors lose him immediately. Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, and Spike’s dad from the Little Giants, star as the dumbest crooks in the world, in John Hughes’ terrible Home Alone rehash. Grab your Boo Boo, sneak into the gorilla pen, and get yourself lathered in some construction site spunk, because this is Baby’s Day Out.

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1.32 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Outworld emperor Shao Khan has sour grapes after losing to Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat, so he interrupts the ending of a much better movie to bring us this huge pile of shit. Using some unexplained magic, Shao Khan resurrects his wife Sindel, forcing Outworld and Earthrealm to merge because the Bible says the Earth was created in six days or something. Johnny Cage is disrespected, Liu Kang turns into a dragon, and Raiden isn’t even Christopher Lambert anymore. Slap on your five hundred dollar sunglasses, ready your animality, and rip out our spine, because we are about to test our might against Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

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1.31 Night of the Demons

After Angela invites a bunch of odd balls to an old funeral parlor for a Halloween party, things get out of hand when they perform a seance. They accidentally release an ancient evil that turns the party goers into hideous demons that are down to fuck. This is the quintessential horror movie for the Halloween season, Dumpster Dwellers! Grab your lipstick, some sour balls, and don’t forget extra batteries for the boom box because we are about to be possessed by Night of the Demons.

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1.30 Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

It’s Halloween night and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s parents are flat broke, so they ask their evil witch of an aunt for a loan. Unfortunately, aunt Cloris Leachman hates the needy and kicks them to the curb, leaving the twins to hatch a crazy plan to save their “full” house (we’re sorry). Meshach Taylor, Phil Fondacaro, and Wayne Robson all join them on a trip down the yellow brick road, to save a woman they’ve never met, from a magic mirror! Schkoozie schkoozie, abra kadabra, flim flam wala wala bing bang bong, this is Double, Double, Toil and Trouble.

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1.29 Boo! A Madea Halloween

Single father Brian Simmons struggles to keep his rebellious daughter from going to the local sleazeball frat’s Halloween party, so he calls his Aunt Madea for help. In an experiment in madness, Tyler Perry brings together obnoxious YouTube stars, bad parenting advice, and a living room scene we thought would never end. Light up a joint and praise Jesus, because we’re about to flatline through Boo! A Madea Halloween.

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1.28 Idle Hands

When a certain evil force looks to possess the laziest fuck up it can find, stoner and general layabout Devon Sawa becomes the perfect host. Why does it only control his right hand? We don’t know! After killing his parents (we hardly knew you Fred Willard) and best friends, Seth Green and Foggy Nelson, Devon must stop his evil hand before it kills Jessica Alba, the only woman interested in his stank ass. So grab yourself some Burger Jungle, rip your Mighty Joe Bong, and cut off just one of your hands, because this is Idle Hands.

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1.27 An American Werewolf in Paris

We’re kicking this Trick or Trash month off with a flaming jack-o’-lantern full of werewolf shit! Tom Everett Scott and his fuck boy friends head to Paris to bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower. Instead they get drunk and save a suicidal Julie Delpy from ridding the world of her violent lunar activities. Unfortunately for us, this movie happens as the result. As a direct sequel to one of the greatest werewolf movies of all time, this is the poster child for studio meddling and running a project straight into the ground. Tie off your bungee cord, rip open a pack of condom gum, and shoot yourself up with some moon juice because we are about to be mauled by An American Werewolf in Paris.

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1.26 The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

CRIKEY! Steve Irwin is just trying to make a documentary about all the dangerous and beautiful wildlife of Australia, and then a bunch of studio execs tell him no one is going to pay for that, so they make up a shitty story about a top secret satellite that gets eaten by a crocodile. With pointless side plots, a lost fifth Baldwin brother, and the Bumpuses dogs, two completely different films collide into a true blunder from down under. Grab your best sheila, a couple sticks of dynamite, and some anti-venom because we are about to bag and tag The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course.

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1.25 Guyver: Dark Hero

He’s back and he’s better than ever! Sort of. A year after defeating David Gale, Solid Snake…err Sean Barker is having strange dreams about killing things. It turns out he has another purpose besides being a violent vigilante of the night—hitchhike to Utah and molest an ancient alien spacecraft. Grab a 30 pack of Bud Dry, and some bear-werewolf-rhinoman repellent because we are about to biomorph with Guyver: Dark Hero.

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1.24 Devon’s Ghost: Legend of the Bloody Boy

After two idiots reopen the old Angel Grove High School across the street from the site of a legend-laden local homicide, the black and yellow Power Rangers need to face their greatest adversary yet—a dick in a baseball jersey. Co-written by Karan Ashley and co-directed by Johnny Yong Bosch, we all can’t help but have one big question: what the hell were they thinking? Put on your birthday present from grandma, grab that Power Morpher, and make sure you don’t get intimate with anyone because we are stepping up to bat with Devon’s Ghost: The Legend of the Bloody Boy. IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!

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1.23 Dark Forest

When Emily joins her friends on a weekend getaway, her psychotic and controlling husband, Peter, takes a trip to the Black Lodge and decides that murdering them all is the only option. Or something. Send some dick pics, grab that plastic knife your dad used to kill your mom, and follow us as we make a trek through the extremely well lit Dark Forest, eh?

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1.22 The Guyver

After Sean face-plants into a one-of-a-kind alien armor prototype, he teams up with Luke Skywalker to bring down David Gale’s Chronos Corporation and its army of Ninja Turtles. As a mostly faithful anime adaption, Screaming Mad George and Steve Wang deliver the goods for this beast-beatin’ romp of amazing practical effects. Behold as Jimmie Walker transforms into Jar Jar Binks before your very eyes—and then gets his ass kicked. Also, Mark Hamill turns into a cockroach. The Zoanoid shit has finally hit the fan, so grab your plastic lunchbox filled with bio-booster armor because we are about to transform with The Guyver. DYN-O-MITE!

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1.21 Mosquito

After a War of The Worlds reject crash lands on earth, its body becomes a quick lunch for a bunch of mosquitoes. And wouldn’t ya know it? The alien blood makes them grow into huge, radioactive, killing machines. It’s up to Leatherface, Patrick Swayze, a biologist (?), Isaac Hayes, and a park ranger to stop the winged menaces from infesting the world. Slather on some deet and lube up that proboscis because we are about to suck on Mosquito.

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1.20 Uncle Sam

Sam Harper is a 100% full blooded, grade-A bag of shit. After getting shot down during some “friendly fire” over Kuwait, the military ships his body back to his life-long abusees. His nephew can’t understand why everyone is so down on his uncle after all of his heroic endeavors. That is, until people start turning up dead. Isaac Hayes literally brings out the big guns for this patriotic piece of cinematic trash. Grab some BBQ and light up those fireworks because we are giving salute to good ol’ Uncle Sam.

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1.19 Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A creepy, semi-magical being known only as the Metal Fetishist seeks revenge on a salaryman who ran him over while getting a blow job. An experimental art film from Shin’ya Tsukamoto, in the vein of Lynch and Cronenberg, comes a monochrome acid trip into stop-motion fever dreams and bloody body horror. Grab your oil can and mind the dick drill because we’re about to be assimilated by Tetsuo: The Iron Man.

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1.18 A Gnome Named Gnorm

Anthony Michael Hall is a wisecracking cop who literally blows an undercover gig when a diamond-toting scumbag explodes all over a park. The only way to clear his name and catch the real bad guy is to team up with a horny gnome that needs to recharge a life-giving rock by way of our sun. Hang on to your bobos and secure that Lumen because we’re about to tunnel into Upworld aka A Gnome Named Gnorm.

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1.17 Tammy and the T-Rex

Tammy and Michael are a young couple in love, until Tammy’s edgelord ex-boyfriend feeds Michael to a lion. Paul Walker returns to the dumpster, trading in his Crunch bars for a mechanical dino body. Strap on your cup and grab somebody’s junk, we’re about to bite into Tammy and the T-Rex.

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1.16 Frankenstein’s Army

At the end of WWII, a troop of Russian soldiers on a secret mission stumble upon the Langford Lab where Karel Roden is making Silent Hill rejects. Finish assembling your Zombot because we’re about to dissect Frankenstein’s Army.

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1.15 The Runestone

After stumbling upon an ancient Norse artifact in Pennsylvania, noted art collector and womanizer, Martin Almquist, brings his find to the big city—and all hell breaks loose. With the help of Thor, a prophetic cry baby, and a foul-mouthed detective, Martin’s ex-wife and lover have to bring down the Nordic God of Bad Creature Design. Dig out your Grandpa’s mythological axe, and pack plenty of strawberry PEZ because the boys are Big Apple bound to try and decipher The Runestone.

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1.14 Big Bully

Tom Arnold rekindles his twisted agenda of sadistic pleasure when Rick Moranis, his childhood punching bag, returns to town to teach a shitty writing class. Masquerading as a comedy, we can clearly see the horror inherent in this off-beat abomination. Meet us at the seesaw at seven o’clock, and bring your piss-filled thermos, because we are going a few rounds with Big Bully.

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1.13 House of the Dead

A group of twenty-somethings travel to Isla Nublar for the rave of the century, but instead find it infested with zombies and light beer. Based on the classic arcade rail shooter and directed by Uwe Boll, even Clint Howard can’t save this movie. Pour one out for Das Boot, because this is House of the Dead.

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1.12 The Hugga Bunch

Little Bridget calls upon the tiny, plush demons that live in her mirror to help save her grandmother because no one loves her anymore. Spewed forth from the black pit of movies from which marketing schemes for toys are spawned, The Hugga Bunch are here for your sweet bone marrow. Pick some young berries and get your mirror nice and squishy because we are about to hug some puppets.

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1.11 Dungeons & Dragons

Justin Whalin and Marlon Wayans LARP their way into a mess of bad CGI and magic, while Jeremy Irons gorges himself on every piece of scenery he can get his hands on. Based loosely on the classic tabletop RPG, this foray onto the set of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys reminds us that movies based on games are never a good idea. Grab your d20 and your elven boob armor because we are about to roll for initiative against Dungeons & Dragons.

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1.10 Frankenstein Unbound

Future scientist, John Hurt, stumbles and fumbles through time in his quest to court Mary Shelly. With the help of Victor Frankenstein and the Delorean, he just might pull it off. This is what Frankenstein fan fiction looks like: Frankenstein Unbound.

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1.9 Monster in the Closet

When a slew of closet murders go unsolved, up-and-coming reporter and Christopher Reeves impersonator, Richard Clark, travels to a small California town for answers. With the help of Paul Walker, Torgo, and that woman from Days of Our Lives, Clark battles a giant McNugget to save the world. Marking the acting debuts of Paul Walker and Fergie, this film adds nothing to their résumés. Grab your xylophone and a hearty supply of Crunch bars because we’re going on a hunt for Monster in the Closet.

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1.8 Sukiyaki Western Django

Quentin Tarantino gives us a Japanese history lesson about two rival gangs fighting over Captain Crunch’s lost treasure, in the heart of Nevada during the Gold Rush. J-horror icon Takashi Miike blends the flavors of Akira Kurosawa and Sergio Corbucci…or something. Gather ’round the campfire and grab your chopsticks, because we are about to chew on some Sukiyaki Western Django.

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1.7 Death Note

The American adaption nobody asked for! Nat Wolff whines a lot and kills people with a magic notebook he gets from the Green Goblin, while Lakeith Stanfield squats on everyone’s furniture and eats candy. Overstuffed, underdeveloped, and unwelcome, summon your Shinigami and for the love of God put our names in the Death Note.

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1.6 Venom

Poor Ray just wants to do the right thing and of course, no good deed goes unpunished. When a suitcase full of voodoo enhanced snakes turns him into Jason Voorhees, he disposes of the most vapid cast of characters this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see any of it. Make sure you grab your grandma’s Baka and a cold beer because we are about to milk some Venom.

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1.5 Equilibrium

Hide your art, hide your books, hide your wife because the Grammaton Clerics are coming to town! In an Orwellian, post-WWIII future, Christian Bale saves puppies from a heartless government bent on emotionally numbing the masses. Taye Diggs is also there for some reason. Grab your Prozium and your pistol, we’re headed to Libria with Equilibrium.

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1.4 Yesterday’s Target

Time traveling mutants, domestic abuse, and plot holes, oh my! Daniel Baldwin serves us up his best Sarah Connor impression while trying to stop Malcolm McDowell and LeVar Burton from wearing bad hats. With a future so bright that you gotta wear shades, the boys quantum leap into the shit show of Yesterday’s Target.

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