2.18 Super Mario Bros.

Mario and Luigi jump through a hell portal beneath Brooklyn and land in a parallel dimension where dinosaurs evolved into the dominant species. Run by germaphobe dictator King Koopa, the plumbers must track down Princess Daisy before Koopa forces her to merge the fungus-covered Dinohattan with our world. Strap on your tool belt, trust the fungus, and click those stomper heels together, because we’re about to world warp with Super Mario Bros!

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne.

1.32 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Outworld emperor Shao Khan has sour grapes after losing to Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat, so he interrupts the ending of a much better movie to bring us this huge pile of shit. Using some unexplained magic, Shao Khan resurrects his wife Sindel, forcing Outworld and Earthrealm to merge because the Bible says the Earth was created in six days or something. Johnny Cage is disrespected, Liu Kang turns into a dragon, and Raiden isn’t even Christopher Lambert anymore. Slap on your five hundred dollar sunglasses, ready your animality, and rip out our spine, because we are about to test our might against Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.13 House of the Dead

A group of twenty-somethings travel to Isla Nublar for the rave of the century, but instead find it infested with zombies and light beer. Based on the classic arcade rail shooter and directed by Uwe Boll, even Clint Howard can’t save this movie. Pour one out for Das Boot, because this is House of the Dead.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne