2.10 Bunraku

Dreadlocked Ron Pearlman rules post-apocalyptic feudal Neo Japan, where guns are banned and everyone knows martial arts, with an iron fist. Drifter Josh Hartnet and samurai Gackt walk into a bar and meet the one person central to the plot, soliloquizing bartender and pop-up funny enthusiast, Woody Harrelson. Together, they lead a revolution of chimney sweepers against an army of redshirts and Kevin McKidd. Grab your grandpa’s medallion, a fifty-five dollar glass of whiskey, and cock those fist guns, because this ain’t no ordinary puppet show—it’s BUNRAKU!

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

2.2 Dragonball: Evolution

Highschool student Goku is a martial artist with lightning fast reflexes, who just happens to be a white dude. After alien dark elf Piccolo drops a house on his grandpa, Goku joins up with Bulma and Muten Roshi to gather the magical dragonballs to stop him…or something. Akira Toriyama is rolling in his grave and he’s not even dead. Take a deep breath, channel your ki, and practice that Kamehameha until Ernie Hudson is satisfied! For the love of god, this is Dragonball: Evolution.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.32 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Outworld emperor Shao Khan has sour grapes after losing to Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat, so he interrupts the ending of a much better movie to bring us this huge pile of shit. Using some unexplained magic, Shao Khan resurrects his wife Sindel, forcing Outworld and Earthrealm to merge because the Bible says the Earth was created in six days or something. Johnny Cage is disrespected, Liu Kang turns into a dragon, and Raiden isn’t even Christopher Lambert anymore. Slap on your five hundred dollar sunglasses, ready your animality, and rip out our spine, because we are about to test our might against Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne

1.24 Devon’s Ghost: Legend of the Bloody Boy

After two idiots reopen the old Angel Grove High School across the street from the site of a legend-laden local homicide, the black and yellow Power Rangers need to face their greatest adversary yet—a dick in a baseball jersey. Co-written by Karan Ashley and co-directed by Johnny Yong Bosch, we all can’t help but have one big question: what the hell were they thinking? Put on your birthday present from grandma, grab that Power Morpher, and make sure you don’t get intimate with anyone because we are stepping up to bat with Devon’s Ghost: The Legend of the Bloody Boy. IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!

Theme by Protector 101. Listen at Bandcamp.

Logo Artwork by David De Forne